Who’s doing it for the boys?
My Search for Mr Right has been varied, frequent, tiresome, irksome (I love that word), disappointing, exciting, strange, challenging and ultimately a bit rubbish. Maybe I’m just too picky (this suggestion has been uttered to me on more than one occasion), maybe it’s just because I haven’t yet met anyone that lives up to my expectations, or maybe – and I think I’ve finally cracked it with this one – no-one has lived up to my expectations because men just haven’t got a bloody clue how to live up to anything expected of them by womankind.
It’s alright for us girls, we have countless self help books about how to net a man and then how to hold on to him (even if it is by the very tips of your acrylics), endless women’s magazines that describe, in great detail, the fine art of dating…and the even finer art of amazing sex, but men…they’ve got nada. I put my theory to the test, trawled a few book sites and came across a selection of male targeted literature that covered everything from how to hammer nails into stuff and mend things with tyres, to ‘check out the tits on that,’ kind of publications, but nothing about how to woo the potential love of your life.
There’s nothing out there to tell them that burping the tune to ‘Match of The Day,’ during a first date is not as impressive as they think it is, nothing to point out that the porn industry greatly lies about what turns a woman on (no dear a gang bang on the bonnet of a Robin Reliant doesn’t constitute romance), and nothing to show them that the art of conversation is sometimes a more valid skill than being able to light your own farts.
Men kind of have to figure all this out by themselves and some are better than others at doing so.
I don’t know where I’d be without my trusty copies of Cosmo, Company and More, so what chance has the male of the species got when faced with the back end of Jodie Marsh spread across the glossies and little else? Maybe in the future I’ll be a little more tolerant of potential ‘suitors,’ and simply be relieved that they haven’t tried to give me a wedgie.
….or maybe I’ll write a self help book for them; “What women Want.”….. now there’s a minefield!
My Search for Mr Right has been varied, frequent, tiresome, irksome (I love that word), disappointing, exciting, strange, challenging and ultimately a bit rubbish. Maybe I’m just too picky (this suggestion has been uttered to me on more than one occasion), maybe it’s just because I haven’t yet met anyone that lives up to my expectations, or maybe – and I think I’ve finally cracked it with this one – no-one has lived up to my expectations because men just haven’t got a bloody clue how to live up to anything expected of them by womankind.
It’s alright for us girls, we have countless self help books about how to net a man and then how to hold on to him (even if it is by the very tips of your acrylics), endless women’s magazines that describe, in great detail, the fine art of dating…and the even finer art of amazing sex, but men…they’ve got nada. I put my theory to the test, trawled a few book sites and came across a selection of male targeted literature that covered everything from how to hammer nails into stuff and mend things with tyres, to ‘check out the tits on that,’ kind of publications, but nothing about how to woo the potential love of your life.
There’s nothing out there to tell them that burping the tune to ‘Match of The Day,’ during a first date is not as impressive as they think it is, nothing to point out that the porn industry greatly lies about what turns a woman on (no dear a gang bang on the bonnet of a Robin Reliant doesn’t constitute romance), and nothing to show them that the art of conversation is sometimes a more valid skill than being able to light your own farts.
Men kind of have to figure all this out by themselves and some are better than others at doing so.
I don’t know where I’d be without my trusty copies of Cosmo, Company and More, so what chance has the male of the species got when faced with the back end of Jodie Marsh spread across the glossies and little else? Maybe in the future I’ll be a little more tolerant of potential ‘suitors,’ and simply be relieved that they haven’t tried to give me a wedgie.
….or maybe I’ll write a self help book for them; “What women Want.”….. now there’s a minefield!
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