When my friend asked me today why I don't try internet dating, I pulled the same face as I do when the trashy ads for dating sites come on the TV and explained that I quite fancied getting through life without being raped, murdered, or chopped into little bits and buried under some one eyed, buck toothed weirdo's patio thanks very much.
"You're being too cynical." She informed me. Alright for her to say - she's been with her partner for ages.
"But if I wasn't I'd be right on that Match.com." She gushed.
Was I being cynical? I've always thought that Mr Right would appear out of nowhere - our eyes would meet across a crowded train (although I never travel on trains), or we'd both reach for the same Pot Noodle in Asda ( although most of the time I spend in supermarkets is used ram raiding old biddies out of the god forsaken way) and that would be that. He'd sweep me off my feet and we'd spend the rest of our lives in blissful married harmony.
"You're joking aren't you?!" My friend tutted at me. "The world moves too fast these days, there's no time to be locking eyes across any kind of public transport - everyone's got somewhere to be as fast as they can and most of the time they're doing it as they face plant their i-Phones."
"Maybe I'll meet someone on a night out?" I asked hopefully, my face dropping as she shook her head.
"You're more likely to come home with vom on your shoes than Mr Rights number."
She then preceded to reason with me for three quarters of an hour that everything is done online now - shopping, finding a job - " You wouldn't sit back and just wait for the right career to drop into your lap would you? So why would you wait for the right man to?"
But isn't internet dating so cliched?
I decided to open it up to Facebook (naturally !!). What did people think? Turns out, I've got a very outdated view of internet dating. 99% off my friends thought it was the best thing since Tamagotchi's (which were pretty damn cool in the 90s you know). Most of them had met their husbands and wives on an internet site.
"But what about the weirdo's?" I asked.
The majority response was that as long as you're careful and use genuine sites, you're pretty much safe.
The Suzy Lamplugh Trust offers the following advice:
"Safety should always be your first priority – whether you’ve met them in a club, through friends or online.
Whenever you are going out to meet someone you do not know well, leave details of where you are going, who you are meeting and when you expect to return – if your plans change, tell someone.
Arrange your first few dates in a busy public place.
Trust your instincts. If someone makes you nervous or uneasy, leave the situation immediately. ."
Of course there are downfalls. " In the real world you'd look at someone and know if you fancy them or not, its much harder to make the assessment with emails." One friend told me, " Plus there seems to be a kind of etiquette and I never really feel like, as a woman, I can make the first move to arrange a date.....but heck its an evening out with new people with new stories - If nothing else it's fun to laugh at the messages you get....like offers of threesomes and weird sex requests."
"See," My friend nodded at me smugly, " Mr Right aint on the number 493 to Wolverhampton, he's waiting online!"
Hmmm, I'm not entirely convinced. I reckon I'm still holding out for a heroto ride in on horseback and chuck me over his shoulder....Amen Bonnie Tyler!
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