Sorry ladies, the latest rumours are that R Patz and Kinky Kirsten are back together again despite her shock affair with director Rupert Sanders. Everybodies favourite vampire is off the market once more (sad faces all round!).
Best of luck to them I say, but in their reunion lies the age old question.....'Can you ever really forgive a cheater?'
Dr Phil ( http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/127) says that it depends on whether or not you are willing to move forward. " You can either handle being vulnerable with your partner again or you can't. And if you can't, you need to get out of this relationship and move on. And if you can, then you need to let him/her earn the trust back and start putting this relationship together again."
There's so much to take into consideration when a partner cheats and for everybody else circling around on the outside, it's so easy to make a quick fire judgement - 'They're a bad person, get rid of them!' friends, family and colleagues shout. Unfortunately love is a tricky emotion and feelings cannot simply be turned on and off. What happens when you just can't live without that person?
Take time to consider you're partners indiscretion and ask yourself the following questions:
1. Was it a one time only kind of thing, or does your partner consistently cheat? We all make mistakes, sometimes very big ones and often these can be forgiven, but if your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband can't control their knickers when you're not around, perhaps it's time to face the reality that they just aren't right for you.
2. Were there problems in your relationship? Very often affairs occur because there are already problems in the relationship. Perhaps you both argue too much over stupid things, your sex life has taken a nose dive due to tiredness and stress. Were you aware of these problems and are they things that can be worked on in order to restore what you once had? Michael Batshaw author of '51 things you should know before you get engaged," says; "No problem is too small to address within a relationship." Communication is the key. If you can't fix the small things, the big things will only spiral out of control.
3. Will you ever really forget it? It's one thing taking a cheating partner back, but touching on the advice of Dr Phil - can you bring yourself to forget your partners indiscretion? Bringing the subject up during every fight in the future can be just as damaging to the relationship as the initial affair itself. If you're going to take back a cheating partner, you have to accept that they have realised their mistake and want to move on. If you won't let them repair the damage, eventually they will begin to wonder the point of trying.
Whatever you decide, make sure that ultimately it's your decision and yours only. Who knows....taking back a cheating partner might be the best thing that you've ever done, bringing new life to something that was going stale. But do please consider the following words from our favourite superstar pop legend Lady Gaga: " Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker's reflection.”
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