Mum’s the word.
Trying for a family or just found out that you’re pregnant
for the first time? Wondering what to expect? Concerned that you don’t feel how
you should? Worried that you won’t be able to cope? Just want honest answers?
Then eyes down and listen in as I sit down with three young moms for a candid
chat about having children.
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| Sarah aged 26 |
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| Kelly aged 23 |
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| Steph aged 26 |
How old were you all when you found out you were pregnant?
Steph: I was 24
Sarah: 25
Kelly: I was 22
How did you feel when you
found out?
Sarah: Honestly….. I wasn’t very excited. I’d just started a new
job and I’d already had one miscarriage.
Steph: I was really shocked. Being pregnant was the last thing I
expected to be as I was on the contraceptive pill! After it sunk in though I
really started to look forward to becoming a mommy.
Kelly: I was just happy, nervous and excited all at the same time
and then as the weeks went by I just couldn’t wait to have my baby!
How did your partners take the news?
Kelly: My partner felt
exactly the same as me, except I think he was a bit more relaxed than I was –
then again it was my body that was going to go through all the changes so I
suppose we were always going to feel slightly different to each other.
Sarah: My partner was really happy when we found out.
Steph: Mine too – he was a bit surprised, but then he takes
everything in his stride anyway so it didn’t phase him too much.
Did it feel strange having another human being growing inside you?
Sarah: It was very strange to think that they could move around in
such a small space!
Steph: It’s quite a daunting feeling, but lovely at the same time.
Kelly: Very strange, but in all honesty it didn’t really sink in
properly until I started to feel movements. It was amazing to think that I had
my little bundle of joy growing inside me.
Did you have a good pregnancy?
Sarah: No not at first. It was really hard because I’d already had
one miscarriage and I bled a little at the beginning of this one. Then all was
fine after my twelve week scan, but after thirty weeks my waters broke and my
daughter came along at thirty-three weeks. For those three weeks I had to have
constant blood tests and swabs to check for infection which weren’t nice at
all.
Steph: My first pregnancy wasn’t particularly easy either – I was
sick for the entire nine months, plus the twelve days that I went overdue and I
suffered chronic heartburn which made me even more sick! On the plus side I
didn’t have any back ache and I worked right up until my due date!
Kelly: Aw! I was the lucky one. I had a really easy pregnancy,
although I did have a bit of heartburn and SPD (Symphysis
Pubis Dysfunction) towards
the end.
So….what was childbirth really like?
Steph: It’s not easy let’s put it that way! My first
pregnancy resulted in an emergency C-Section as my baby turned during labour
and it slowed his heart rate down. I gave birth naturally the second time.
Kelly: Anyone who tells you that childbirth isn’t painful is lying! Having said that
it is one of the most wonderful and amazing experiences that you will ever go
through as a woman. I could do it twenty times over if I had to!
Sarah: I was very lucky as I was only in labour for
five hours, but it really hurt! You’re about to become a mom and the only thing
you want in the world is your mom!
Did you opt for drugs?
Sarah: I had Pethidine which was ace at the time,
but you don’t half feel out of it and I suffered memory loss!
Kelly: I had gas and air – I loved it, it made me
feel drunk! In the end though I had to have an epidural and even though I swore
I’d never have it, it was great for
me because I had a very long labour and it allowed me to rest and gain energy
for the pushing stage.
Were you sore afterwards?
Kelly: I was sore for a few weeks after as I had to have stitches -
I know you won’t believe, but it was so worth it, I can’t tell you.
Steph: I was sore afterwards and you don’t exactly forget it all
the first time you hold your baby like they say you do, but like Kelly says, the
pain is so worthwhile, especially when you hold your child for the first time.
Sarah: I was scared of going for a wee at first! It wears off after
a few days and as the girls say – you just don’t care when you have your baby
in your arms. It’s surreal.
How did you cope with a newborn?
Steph: My first child was a fantastic new born, I was very lucky.
He slept well and fed every three-four hours so I knew where I was with him.
Lack of sleep is hard though and as I breast fed I had to do all the work where feeding was concerned. My partner,
friends and family were just brilliant and I don’t know where I would be
without my mom to this day! I think first time moms are always a bit worried
about doing something wrong, but I found that if you go by instinct, it’s
normally right.
Kelly: We coped fine to be honest, although I can see how hard it
would be had my boy had colic or constipation or anything. We were just lucky
that he didn’t. We had lots of help when we needed it too. I was terrified of
doing something wrong though I have to admit. But I found, like Steph, that you
just do what you think is best for your child.
Sarah: I didn’t cope too well. I was up and down to the neonatal
unit as my daughter was seven weeks prem and I went home every night in tears.
When she came home it was okay, but she had to be fed every two hours and the
lack of sleep was just horrendous. I missed my old life like mad and at the
time I worried that that was selfish of me, but it isn’t at all- it was just
because I was so scared and I’d never done the whole motherhood thing before. I
got help from family members though, which was good, so I could get some sleep.
When did you first have sex again and did you suffer with body confidence
issues?
Steph: Three weeks. I was probably more conscious of my body when I
was out and about than when I as with my partner.
Sarah: Three months later. I was apprehensive as I was told it was
very painful, but we took the plunge and it was brilliant! My partner really
didn’t care about how I had changed.
Kelly: About thirteen weeks. I was a little conscious of my body
but at the end of the day I knew it was different because I’d had a baby and so
I didn’t really care.
Were you bombarded with advice and what did you make of it?
Kelly: Nah, people just left us to it unless we asked.
Steph: Same here, I just got it when I needed it. Most of the time
it was helpful.
Sarah: I wasn’t either. People thought I was twenty six and could
cope as I had helped when my nephew was born. Unfortunately, I suffered from
post natal depression. Luckily a friend spotted the signs and I tackled the
issue straight away.
And finally, what advice would you give to new moms to be?
Sarah: Take all the drugs that they offer you! Ha ha! On a serious
note, do what you think is right and ask if you need help. Never feel like you
are a failure if you don’t know what you are doing and never keep your feelings
locked up as your baby needs you 100% of the time.
Steph: Enjoy every second of it! Don’t stress the small stuff and
like Sarah says, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s what your family and
friends are there for.
Kelly: Well…..don’t get pregnant to save a relationship because it
is really tough. Always do what you think is right as a mother and don’t let
anybody push you into anything. Use family and friends as much as you need
because they really don’t mind. Most of all enjoy it – they grow up way too
quickly!
For more information about post natal depression visit
or
Don’t suffer in silence.
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